How To Align Your Own Stars

Recently I was talking to one of my sons about his future. (We talk Big Picture around here.) He's a bright child and has high aspirations. However, it seemed to me that he was waiting for it to all fall in place one day—a dream rather than a goal. In my most gentle, motherly voice I said, "You have to MAKE it happen."

I learned that from Twitter.

And Malcolm Gladwell, and my mother, and life in general, I suppose. I referenced Malcolm Gladwell's book, The Outliers, and my son casually pulled an unread copy from his bookshelf. So he's not clueless, he's just busy being a kid. I summarized it like this: "It takes 10,000 hours to be really good at something. Spend the first three hours reading the book."

"I began writing novels in 2007," she says with a sheepish smile. "Why am I not published yet?"

Every writerly blog I now read describes my story to a T on their What Not To Do blogs. It's laughable because I know that there is so much more to know, and I hope to keep learning until the day I die (another 30 or 40 years, please).  Years from now I'll re-read this post and laugh at my self-proclaimed wisdom on 7/18/11. But I am nothing if not persistent. Just today, for instance, I discovered ROW80, and in trying to add their badge to this blog, I discovered bunches of other cool stuff to add. I feel so professional! I'm sure somewhere out there is a blog about how to create blog, but I haven't found it yet. But today I am one step closer to being a professional writer.

When I was an art dealer, many of my artists asked me how to become rich and famous. My answer was, "The tools are easy; it's the details that'll kill ya." Here are the stars that must align to become successful in any career:

1. Talent: The more natural your aptitude, the less effort it will take, but fortunately talent can be learned. After an honest and concerted effort, consult multiple experts in your field and ask them for advice and if they think you have talent. Whether or not you listen to what they say depends on your passion for your chosen goal. Don't give up too soon!  However, there are some  instances where it's better to change your goals than kill yourself trying to be successful at a pipe dream; i.e. a wannabe basketball star might become a coach; a wannabe painter might try sculpture; a wannabe novelist might write non-fiction. Remember: There's a fine line between persistence and insanity—at some point, reality should prevail.
2. Time: Winning the lottery is the ubiquitous example of people looking for the shortcut. But even those who win the lottery have usually been playing for years and paying thousands of dollars along the way. Imagine if you spent all that time and money on education, training or buying books to read about making yourself successful instead of putting all your hope in randomness. 10,000 hours = 40 hr/week for 5 years. Or, if your doing this in your spare time, 10,000 hours = 20 hr/week for 10 years. READ. PRACTICE. BE PATIENT.
3. Luck: Ah, lady luck. Oprah doesn't believe in luck. Well, Oprah, I do. Yes, I believe we can make our own luck through preparation, but I was repeatedly amazed in the art world when the right collector stumbled upon the right piece by the right artist; bought the piece; showed it to other collectors and museum people; and the artist's career took off.

Success. Simple as that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a few more hours to put in.

You're gonna do WHAT??

This year I'm going to Take Away a gift from each of my loved ones.

In this day and age, of excess and rampant spending (okay, so not nearly as bad in years past, but...) where commercialism has overtaken spirituality, and objects are used to express love, I've bought everyone what they want for Christmas.  And now I'm going to take one thing away from each of them.

With two solid weeks before we open gifts, I run the risk of spoiling the big moment with this post, but since I don't think my kids are following my blog anyway, here goes... From my oldest son, I am (figuratively) taking away Smoking.  From my youngest son, I'm taking away take away Texting While Driving.  From the two in between, I take away their Worrying About Things They Can't Control, like what other people think about them.

As a mother/wife/daughter/sister/friend I want only the best for my loved ones.  I am not a psychologist, and I'm certainly not perfect, but I still wish I could pass on a little loving advice without sounding judgmental or preachy.  I have no ulterior motives, nothing to gain personally, I just want the best for those I love.

And, so, my best gift  to my family this year might just be the one I take away.  Let's hope they see it that way!

Best wishes, Karolyn